


Knife's Edge

by areyouarealmonster



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Dead siblings club, F/M, Ice Cream, goldenvibe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 18:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11296020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyouarealmonster/pseuds/areyouarealmonster
Summary: Lisa and Cisco meet up every week to commiserate about the loss of their respective brothers. The only problem is that she's the leader of the Rogues, and he's a member of Team Flash. Will meeting over ice cream make or break them?Or will they remain on this tenuous knife's edge a little bit longer?





	Knife's Edge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ruthc93](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruthc93/gifts).



“Time for the weekly meeting of the Dead Brothers Club!” Lisa crows, sauntering into the Cortex.

 

“L _isa_ ,” Cisco groans, dropping his head down in front of his keyboard, “I asked you not to call it that!”

 

“Well what else should I call our little arrangement?” Lisa asks, jumping up on the edge of a table and swinging a leg up to cross it over the other. She peers down at him, wanting to tangle her fingers in his long, soft hair.

 

She doesn’t. Flirting is one thing, that would be…a whole other thing entirely.

 

Cisco lifts his head up and glares at her. She’s seen meaner glares from puppies. “It’s not an _arrangement_ , either,” he protests.

 

“Then what is it?” Lisa asks.

 

“It’s just…” Cisco pauses. He stands up and slips on his jacket, avoiding her gaze and running his fingers through his hair. She watches the motion. “It’s just two people in similar situations finding comfort in each other,” he explains, finally.

 

Lisa ponders his words for a minute, jumping back down once Cisco is ready to go. She loops her arm through his. “Even if one of those people is a member of Team Flash and the other is the leader of the Rogues?”

 

Cisco huffs a laugh, leading her through the empty hallways of S.T.A.R. Labs. “Can you not remind me of that?” he asks. “Can you just please be Lisa, and let me just be Cisco, and can we not talk about our jobs?”

 

“I can do that,” Lisa agrees. She’s glad, honestly. Work is great, it’s going great, but it’s stressful—keeping so many big personalities in line is exhausting. Truthfully, she loves the quiet moments she can steal—going for drinks, lunch, ice cream (today’s plan)—with Cisco.

 

It may have started off as them getting drunk together and waxing poetic about the deaths of their brothers, but it’s turned into something else. Lisa isn’t quite sure how to describe it, and she’s not sure she wants to break the tenuous truce of whatever it may be by giving it a name. It’s teetering on the edge of something intimate, but Lisa’s never been good at intimacy.

 

So it’s better, for both of them, to keep it within their preset parameters.

 

Really, it is.

 

Lisa _almost_ believes that.

 

But, honestly, what good would it do for her to muck up the works? It would never work between them anyway. Lisa would like to forget about their jobs, about them being on opposing sides of whatever this stalemate between the Rogues and the Flash is, but it’s not logical, not reasonable.

 

And with Lenny gone, Lisa has to be the voice of reason in town. She has to be the one with the cold voice, with the plan, with the smirk and the gun and the ruthlessness. Lenny’s gone, and Lisa has to pick up the pieces on her own.

 

Well, not entirely on her own. That’s why she lets herself steal these moments with Cisco. She always comes away from them with a clearer head. With a plan.

 

They walk to the ice cream place, since Cisco still refuses to get on the back of her motorcycle, even though she had offered him a helmet. He’d whined about safety, about being exposed to the elements. Lisa had laughed, but relented. She’d even sometimes let Cisco drive her to lunch, if they wanted to go somewhere across town.

 

The ice cream place is only a few blocks away, though, and Lisa keeps her arm threaded through Cisco’s as they walk.

 

She’s not too worried about being seen. She runs this town, and if anyone has a problem with this _thing_ she has with Cisco, they can take it up with her. Or Shawna. Or Mark. Or even Hartley. Nobody wants to take anything up with Axel, but they could, if they wanted their faces blown off. Sam and Rosa, well, they’re too wrapped up in each other to really care about anyone else, but if Lisa paid them enough, they’d have her back.

 

God, Lisa misses her brother.

 

Not that she needs the backup, not that she can’t protect herself. Not that her grip on the Rogues isn’t iron tight. It’s just that, she would love to relax. She would love to know that she has that to fall back on, that she has someone she can rely on, through anything.

 

Cisco’s close, but it’s not the same. Cisco’s technically her enemy, too, so there’s that.

 

For all of that, it’s better for the two of them to keep their knife’s-edge friendship, and not to tip it over into anything…else.

 

“After you,” Cisco says, opening the door to the ice cream place with a flourish. Lisa grins, feral and sharp, and mimics a curtsy before stepping through the door.

 

She orders a double scoop of chocolate orange and pays for it at the register, while Cisco orders strawberry sorbet. It’s not a date, so Cisco doesn’t offer to pay—well, he had, the first few times. Lisa had rolled her eyes and tossed down cash to cover her portion. He doesn’t ask anymore.

 

Once they’ve gotten their orders, they find a table and settle down. They’re silent for a few seconds, licking at the drips of melting ice cream that are threatening to trail down their fingers and get their hands sticky.

 

“How’s yours?” Cisco asks, when the danger has passed.

 

“Delicious,” Lisa replies. “Yours?”

 

Cisco answers with a grin and a long, slow lick. It could be sensuous—and it is—but it’s also hilarious, and Lisa giggles, especially as Cisco waggles his eyebrows at her.

 

“Weirdo,” she says, gently whacking his arm.

 

He nods enthusiastically, taking another lick of his sorbet. “You caught me!”

 

Lisa rolls her eyes fondly. “Not hard to do, _nerd_.”

 

“Shh,” Cisco says, grinning. They fall into silence for another minute, enjoying their frozen treats. They’re both avoiding the reason they’re there—the conversation that they both welcome and dread every week.

 

The awful question.

 

“How are you?” Cisco finally asks, his lips shining with cold and damp, his voice soft and full of concern.          

 

Lisa’s been expecting it. It’s why they _do this_. She still hates it.

 

“I see him everywhere,” she says. “I did before, while he was…traveling. But now, every time I see someone in a parka, every time I see a flash of blue, I go cold.”

 

Cisco nods and hums in understanding.

 

“I know it’s not him,” she continues. “I know it’s never gonna be him again. But I still…”

 

“You still hope?” Cisco finishes for her.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“My heart still pounds every time I hear car tires squeal,” Cisco admits, looking down at his bright pink dessert. Lisa reaches a hand out, places it over his. He takes a deep breath, and seems to steady himself to continue, “It’s not logical, but I watch it happen in slow-motion, in my head. Sometimes it’s him, sometimes it’s me, sometimes it’s B—my teammates.”

 

None of this is new information. They’ve had this conversation an hundred times. Still, it’s nice to say the words to someone who understands. Lisa rubs her thumb over the back of his hand and he looks up, giving her a weak smile.

 

“It’s okay, when I’m not thinking about it,” he says. “But I’ll hear tires squeal, or a song he used to play, and it’s like I just…freeze up. Sorry, don’t mean to make a cold pun.”

 

That shocks a small laugh out of Lisa, and she feels guilty as soon as it leaves her mouth. But Cisco flashes a smile at her, an echo of his glowing grin, and she knows he did it on purpose.

 

It’s always like this: cracking jokes to break the tension. Flirting to avoid saying that they’re both wrecks over the loss of their respective brothers.

 

Teasing to forget they’re on opposite sides.

 

Cisco meets her eyes, steady, searching. “You used to kiss me,” he says suddenly.

 

It’s not what Lisa was expecting. They don’t _talk_ about that, they don’t talk about what they want this to be, because they both know they’re not gonna get what they want.

 

“You want me to kiss you, Cisco?” Lisa asks. “You wanna be, what, friends with benefits? Mourn together, except this time in bed?”

 

Cisco shakes his head. “I just…I like what we have now, I do. I’d be cool with us staying friends. I just wanna know where we stand.”

 

It’s a great thing to ask. A great thing to know. Lisa _wishes_ she knew.

 

Cisco sighs, suddenly. “I’m sorry,” he says. “It’s been a rough few weeks, I guess I’ve just been thinking about my life, about what I want.”

 

“And what do you want?” Lisa asks, quietly.

 

“I don’t know,” Cisco admits. “I’d like to be with you but—”

 

“But you can’t.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“You could join the Rogues,” Lisa suggests, only half-kidding. “I know Hartley and I would love to have you, and the rest would love to have someone with your…abilities.”

 

“I’m not joining the Rogues, Lisa,” Cisco says.

 

Lisa shrugs. “It was worth a try.”

 

“You could dissolve the Rogues,” Cisco suggests. “What are you even accomplishing with them, anyway? What’s the _point_?”

 

Lisa waggles her finger at him. “That’s work talk, Cisco. You know better. You know I’m not gonna tell you my sweeping, overarching, evil plans.”

 

Cisco snorts. “I doubt any of your plans are _evil_.”

 

Lisa’s hand shoots out, grabs Cisco’s chin tight. His eyes widen as his face scrunches up. It’s comical, but Lisa isn’t in the mood to laugh. “You forget me, Cisco. You forget who you’re talking to. Lenny is _gone_ and I’m stepping up as Queen of Central City. You may think I’m sweet little Lisa, that I’m just playing with fire. Darling, I control the goddamn flames.”

 

Cisco flounders and Lisa tightens her grip. She’s sure other patrons are staring at her, but they know better.

 

They know who she is.

 

Nobody knows who Cisco is.

 

“I’m not playing around, here. I’ve got big things planned. I’m not going to tell you what they are because I’m not an _idiot_. I’m not as smart as Lenny, but don’t think that he got the brains and I got the looks. Lenny taught me everything he knew, and I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve he could never even dream of. I can relax when I’m with you, but don’t ever forget that I’m not just a pretty face.” She releases _his_ face with that and rescues her dripping ice cream with her tongue, letting silence fall across them.

 

“I’m sorry, Lisa,” Cisco mutters, hiding behind his cone. “I _did_ forget. Not—” he stammers— “not that you’re not just a pretty face, I _know_ you’re smart. I just, I forgot that this isn’t just a whim for you. This is all you know.”

 

“You’re damn right,” Lisa says, keeping her voice quiet but deadly. “Lenny wanted better for me, but Lenny ran off to go be a goddamn hero and left me in charge of his legacy. And I _will_ protect it with my life. I _will_ do him proud. And I’ll do myself proud. Yeah, you’re right, this is all I know. But don’t think that it’s something I was forced into. This is my life, _my own_ legacy now. You can’t rescue me from something I don’t wanna be rescued from.”

 

Cisco shakes his head. “I’m not trying to rescue you,” he insists.

 

“No?” Lisa asks. “Not trying to ride in on a white horse and pull me out of a life of crime and sin?”

 

“I…” Cisco trails off.

 

“Ah,” Lisa says, “there we go. The truth comes out. You think you can save me.”

 

“I think you can save yourself,” Cisco mutters.

 

“And that’s sweet of you,” Lisa says, once again placing her hand over his. “But there’s a flaw in your logic, darling. You’re viewing me as the princess in the tower. You see the Rogues as the dragon you need to slay to set me free. They’re _not_. I’m the witch. I’m the evil stepmother. You may be the hero in this story, but I am _not_ the damsel in distress. _I’m_ the dragon.”

 

Cisco falls silent, crunching on the end of his cone, staring at her hand on his.

 

Lisa watches him, examines his fallen expression, his sad eyes. She watches the cogs in that big, beautiful brain tick away, watches him try to find words.

 

It seems as though she finally, for once, rendered Cisco speechless. She wishes she could be more proud of herself for it. Instead she just feels lonely.

 

“I just don’t get it,” Cisco says, finally. “You can do so much more, be so much more. But you—”

 

“I chose this.” She pulls her hand back to herself, digging her nails into her palm.

 

“No, you didn’t,”

 

“ _Yes_ , I did.”

 

“No!” Cisco’s voice echoes through the ice cream shop, and he looks around, embarrassed. “No,” he continues, quieter. “You were forced into it by your father, by your _brother_ —”

 

“Lenny didn’t force me into _anything—_ ”

 

“It was all he had, too,” Cisco says. “I’m not saying he meant to do it, but he did it. Lisa, you can afford to go to college now, you can do anything you want—”

 

“I _want_ to do this, Cisco!” Lisa hisses. “Why can’t you seem to understand that? I _love_ leading the Rogues. I love what I do, and I’m _very_ good at it.”

 

“Lisa—”

 

“You love being a superhero, right? Well, I love being a supervillain. That’s all there is to it.” Lisa stands up, chucks the rest of her ice cream in the trash, and storms out.

 

He doesn’t _understand_ that she has to do this, that she can’t do anything else, that she’s _nothing_ without this. It’s not just that this is all she knows, it’s that this is all she’s ever wanted. She was fine living in Lenny’s shadow, but she always wanted her name up in lights.

 

She wanted the fame, the sparkle of everyone knowing who she is. Whispers of her name on everyone’s lips, in fear or in awe, she never really cared which one. Both, probably. This is what she was _born_ to do. This is what she plans to do until the day she dies.

 

No matter what anyone says. No matter what Cisco may think of her. She cares about his opinion, but only up to a point, then he’s on his own.

 

Cisco catches up with her halfway back to S.T.A.R. Labs. She should have just stormed off entirely, but her motorcycle is parked in the sprawling, empty parking lot.

 

“Lisa—Lisa, _wait_!”

 

Lisa doesn’t stop, but she does slow down. The anger is still there, but it’s leaving her the same way her brother did—slowly, and then all at once without warning.

 

“Lisa, I’m sorry,” Cisco says, panting as he catches up with her. “I just hate being on opposing sides. I really hate it.”

 

Lisa shakes her head. “I don’t like it either, but I’m not going to change for you. Don’t ask me to do that, Cisco, it’s not gonna end well for you.”

 

Cisco hangs his head in shame, his hair covering his face. Lisa wants to reach out and tuck it behind his ears, but he does that himself before she can. It’s better that way. “So what happens to us now?”

 

“I don’t know,” Lisa admits. She thinks they’ve teetered over the edge, fallen off the edge of the knife. She thinks that they’re cut and bloody and who knows where they’ll end up next. “We’re this far into it,” she says, “we might as well keep going until we can’t anymore.”

 

“Okay,” Cisco says, attempting a smile at her. It’s nowhere near his usual glowing, gorgeous smile, but it’s something. “Yeah I don’t…I don’t wanna give this up. Any of this. It’s not just the comfort, not just having someone who knows what I’m going through. It’s…I like spending time with _you_ , Lisa. Regardless of what’s going on in our lives, even if we’re in the middle of a battle against each other.”

 

Lisa snickers. “It was funny when that happened,” she admits.

 

Cisco’s smile grows. “Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?” His face falls slightly. “For a few minutes, anyway.”

 

“Yeah,” Lisa agrees.

 

They reach her motorcycle. Lisa picks up her helmet, tucks it under her arm. She turns back to Cisco, who’s looking up at her expectantly.

 

She doesn’t want to dash his hopes and dreams.

 

“I’ll see you next week, Cisco,” she says, her voice soft. Then she leans forward, presses a butterfly-light kiss against his lips.

 

“I look forward to it,” Cisco says, his voice equally quiet. He smiles at her, hopeful and sad at the same time. “Good luck against Team Flash this week.”

 

It’s their usual parting exchange, and Lisa matches his smile to parrot her response: “Hope the Rogues don’t kick your ass too much.”

 

Then she winks, as she always does, puts her helmet on as she swings her leg over her bike, and rides off.

 

It’s time to get back to work.


End file.
